Tim Chester's
You can Change (IVP:2008) is a brilliant book. Biblical, sane, pastoral, warm, honest. Highly recommended. I am going to put some helpful quotes up and will start where I am, chapter 7, and add others later. So, here goes with chapter 7: What stops you changing?
It's not lack of discipline or knowledge or support. These all matter, but the number-one reason why people don't change is pride, closely followed by hating the consequences of sin, but actually still loving the sin itself. (127)
Perhaps the person is mad at himself for repeating the same sin over and over again. this is actually a veiled form of pride that assumes he is capable of doing good in his own power. He is minimizing his spiritual inability apart from God's grace. (citing Ed Welch, Addictions, 170)
Explaining that pride is part of the 'definition of sin' as it 'puts us in the place of God', Chester goes on to show how humility is 'a paradigm of repentance.' Humility is 'the realization that we can never merit blessing from God.'
It's the recognition that grace is our only hope. It's giving up on ourselves and finding all we need in Jesus. If you're frustrated at your inability to change, then the first step is to give up - to give up on yourself. Repent of your self-reliance and self-confidence. Your second step is to rejoice in God's grace: his grace to forgive and his grace to transform. (p129)
